The internet sometimes seems like the hardest thing for me to ever sit down and talk to. I have no issues listening to the internet. Watching the internet. Even having opinions about the internet. But when it comes to actually sitting down and taking the time to communicate, I usually just get tired and shut the dang thing down.
This isn’t really anything new. I’ve always been a lil’ post shy when it comes to social media outlets. Always kinda felt “meh” about it all. Sometimes enough to not partake at all. Yet, it seems like in the “world” we live in (not referring to the actual planet we inhabit) if you don’t have some sort of internet presence, the things you do or say are not really recognized, nor are they worthy of someone’s attention.
I like to think that is not actually true, but in terms of playing music or making art or writing poetry or taking photos or whatever tickles you, the majority of recognition you will get these days will come from the internet. Perhaps from someone genuinely liking what you have to do or say. Maybe it’s because somebody else tells other people to like it, so people then think to themselves, “Oh. I like this.” Whichever it might be, it’s pretty hard to deny.
I think a lot these days about how little I actually know. How large this goddamned world is and incredibly ignorant I am. Just floating along. Listening to my headphones, looking at my phone, working my job that requires all kinds of machines I need in order to do so. It actually freaks me the fuck out. In the sense that I exist every day in a sea that lacks understanding. Not even just lacks it, but encourages it.
When I gets to thinking about all of these things, I usually tend to look in my peripheral surroundings. I look at all the little machines I know how to use, but not how to manufacture. I look at the buildings I know how to sleep in, but not how to build/maintain. I look at the streets and sidewalks I know how to stumble upon, but not what lays under them. And I begin to realize that I know not what comes before my every move. I am ignorant. I know nothing. I am nothing. Truly, I feel so insignificant.
I don’t mean to say any of that because I am looking for someone to tell me that I am significant or because I want people to start to notice what I choose to do. The point in making such a statement is to accept what I am. Which is a human. Which if you look at history, you might see a common theme. That theme being that humans are really good at being ignorant and being awful. Which isn’t to say that there are not an unfathomable amount of amazing individuals that exist in this world we live in, but I mean it’s all relative. Yeah there’s lots of good, but there’s just sooo much more bad.
In the past couple months, I have been trying to get myself to learn how to make Linoleum Cut prints. A while back a friend of mine showed me how to do a Wood Cut print and I’ve always kinda wanted to try and see what I could do with such a form. Naturally, when I decided to acquire the tools to do such, I figured I would use my attempts at creating these prints for something I could use them for. Show posters. Ha!
So I made some recently for some shows this week. One tonight (6/25) at Mohawk with Priests and Feral Future. The other tomorrow night (6/26) at Cheer Up Charlies with Benny The Jet Rodriguez, Prince, and Hidden Ritual. Both shows I am incredibly excited about. Both posters I am very proud of. Not because I think they came out great or anything like that, but because I figured I would try something new. I made the attempt, and if I find myself unsatiated with the desire to get better, then it is up to me to make the effort.
That being said, I think it is very important to hone in on the things that you are not satisfied with and see how you can better yourself. See how you can educate yourself. Understand that you are only human and you are prone to being awful. Take that and use it as motivation to be a decent fucking person! Say hello to strangers. Try something you don’t know how to do. Educate yourself about the things you feel overwhelmed by. Learn how to make it, cos faking it can only get you so far in “the world” of social media and buzz, but not the one we actually inhabit.
I’ll try and pop in to tumblr more regularly to say hi. Tell you about things we are up to or places we are going. But know that if I don’t, it doesn’t mean we don’t exist. It actually means the opposite.